Ariana Madix is having a rough run on Vanderpump Rules Season 11 despite being the biggest Scandoval victim. She had to return to filming the show soon after her breakup with Tom Sandoval, and some of her co-stars expect her to be cordial with her cheating ex. Ariana might be on top, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy for her to be coworkers with Sandoval.

Ariana recently appeared on Watch What Happens Live to give her two cents on Pump Rules Season 11. During the After Show, Ariana got candid about what it was like to return to filming so quickly after her life took a dramatic turn. She admitted that she thought about putting herself on pause to heal, but a few factors resulted in her trucking along.

Ariana wasn’t backing down

During WWHL, Ariana was asked what it would’ve been like for the VPR crew to film Season 11 without her. “I think there would’ve been a lot more stuff from everyone,” she said. “It was so soon after. I’m still in my, like, functional freeze state, essentially, like, just trying to get through it.” Who can really blame her?

She admitted to Andy Cohen that she was hesitant about returning to VPR after Scandoval. ” But then I felt like I wasn’t in a position financially to walk away. And I also felt like I should keep living my life,” she added. Again, valid points.

Ariana also felt an obligation to the fans to show the “good, bad, the ugly” of her life as she always has. “So you’re watching me very slowly try to pick myself up,” Ariana explained.