{"id":8466,"date":"2024-05-02T06:57:05","date_gmt":"2024-05-02T06:57:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sbiz.thongtinluat.com\/?p=8466"},"modified":"2024-05-02T06:57:05","modified_gmt":"2024-05-02T06:57:05","slug":"teen-mom-family-reunion-season-3-episode-7-bad-baby-daddies-a-bucket-of-pee-vu-thuy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sbiz.thongtinluat.com\/teen-mom-family-reunion-season-3-episode-7-bad-baby-daddies-a-bucket-of-pee-vu-thuy\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Teen Mom F\u0430m\u0456ly Reun\u0456on\u2019 Se\u0430\u0455on 3 E\u0440\u0456\u0455ode 7: B\u0430d B\u0430by D\u0430dd\u0456e\u0455 & \u0430 Bu\u0441ket of Pee"},"content":{"rendered":"

Howdy, fellow trash TV lovers! It\u2019s time once again to check in with\u00a0MTV<\/strong>\u2018s favorite over-30 breeders and their assorted husbands\/boyfriends\/baby daddies\/guys who impregnanted them minutes into their relationships!\u00a0The Ashley<\/strong>\u00a0is aware that she skipped recapping last week\u2019s crapisode of\u00a0Teen Mom Family Reunion<\/strong>, but the fact that she\u2019s sitting through this toxic-waste-in-TV-form show at all for y\u2019all should be commended!<\/p>\n

\"Teen<\/p>\n

We start this episode off by catching up with what we missed last episode:\u00a0Jade<\/strong>\u00a0has partied herself into a chest wheeze, while\u00a0Zach<\/strong>\u00a0has finally called\u00a0Cheyenne<\/strong>\u00a0out for being controlling and disrespectful to him.\u00a0Kayla<\/strong>\u00a0and her boyfriend\u00a0Ryan<\/strong>\u00a0finally decided they should\u00a0talk<\/em>\u00a0about the fact that Kayla\u2019s carrying Ryan\u2019s Oopsie Baby.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Back at Casa de Unemployed, Kayla and Ryan are still in their private session with\u00a0Dr. Mike<\/strong>. He is legit informing them that they currently have three choices when it comes to what to do with their Oopsie Baby: termination, adoption or parenting.<\/p>\n

Kayla can\u2019t stop rolling her eyes. Ryan straight-out just says he doesn\u2019t want to have the kid. (Let\u2019s save a copy of this episode for the baby\u2019s scrapbook! How delightful!)<\/p>\n

Kayla is confused by this statement, given that, back in the \u2018Young & Pregnant\u2019 days when she was knocked up with her first kid, Ryan was\u00a0hopeful\u00a0<\/em>that he was her son\u2019s father. (As we know, though, it was determined that Kayla\u2019s son was actually fathered by\u00a0Stephen \u201cI\u2019m Gonna Grind For My Son\u201d Alexander<\/strong>.)<\/p>\n

Now that Kayla is knocked up with\u00a0Ryan\u2019s<\/em>\u00a0Oopsie Baby, though, he\u2019s singing a new tune\u00a0(\u201c18 years\u202618 years\u2026)<\/em>\u00a0and Kayla doesn\u2019t understand why.<\/p>\n

Dr. Mike gives the couple a \u201chomework assignment\u201d to complete by the time they leave Casa de Unemployed: decide whether or not to have their Oopise Baby.<\/p>\n

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This kind of scenario could only happen on a \u2018Teen Mom\u2019 show\u2026or maybe\u00a0Maury<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\"\"
\u201cHas anyone ever told you that you guys reality TV gold? Because\u2026seriously\u2026chef\u2019s kiss!\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Kayla and Ryan leave the session, vowing to communicate more about the fact that KAYLA LITERALLY HAS RYAN\u2019S SPAWN GROWING INSIDE OF HER.<\/p>\n

I think that\u2019s nice\u2026<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Jade is on the phone with\u00a0Briana.\u00a0<\/strong>In this \u201ctotally not set up at all\u201d convo, Jade \u201cinvites\u201d Bri to come to the retreat, even though she\u2019s currently sans boyfriend.<\/p>\n

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\u201cI\u2019m not currently boning anyone\u2019s ex or any show security guards. Is that OK?\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Um\u2026stop. Not MTV trying to make it seem like Bri\u2019s not already in Colombia, just standing at the door to Casa de Unemployed with her face pressed up against the window going \u201cOpen, open!\u201d<\/p>\n

Jade promises to make Briana feel comfortable and not like a third wheel.<\/p>\n

Over in the pool, Madame Cate is pumping the other couples about whether or not they plan to have more kids. Cheyenne and Zach are clearly uncomfortable answering but Cate keeps peppering them with questions until they reveal that they\u2019re on different pages when it comes to future baby-making.<\/p>\n

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\u201c\u2026and preferably let me film it for\u00a0OnlyFans<\/em>!\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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After the boys run around playing hide-and-seek with squirt guns (#AsYouDo),\u00a0Mackenzie<\/strong>\u00a0and\u00a0Khessy<\/strong>\u00a0announce that they are going to host a family cooking night. She explains that the boys will fetch the ingredients while the girls go to a \u201cfishmonger.\u201d<\/p>\n

Everyone looks like they\u2019d rather spend the night in a Porta-Potty baking out in the hot Colombian sun.<\/p>\n

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\u201cUm\u2026can I call in sick for this? Because, honestly, I\u2019m sick of Mackenzie\u2019s crap.\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The troupes pile into separate buses and head into the jungles of Colombia to experience \u201creal\u201d culture\u2026and stuff.<\/p>\n

Mack explains that she enjoys seeing how the locals live\u2026and stuff\u2026and that she is glad they can try to fit into it.<\/p>\n

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Yes, nothing quite says \u2018fitting in with the locals\u2019 like having your MERCEDES shuttle van burst through some poor guy\u2019s backyard like the Kool-Aid man going through the wall\u2026<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Mackenzie announces that she has to pee like a racehorse, so she starts sprinting out of the van and makes a beeline for the outhouse\u2026where she finds a bucket to pee in.<\/p>\n

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She then proceeds to pee in it, then grab the bucket and bring it over to the other girls to show them.<\/p>\n

(Maybe she heard about Catelynn\u2019s peeing-in-Tupperware antics and wanted to get her approval for a job well done? I have no freaking clue why she\u2019s chasing these poor girls around with a bucket \u2018o\u2019 pee.)<\/p>\n

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\u201cSomeday I aspire to reach your level of Tupperware pissing, Catelynn!\u201d\u00a0<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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The other girls are disgusting (and somewhat confused) as to why Mack is presenting her pee to them. She has no clue where to toss her piss.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have to come show me your pee!?\u201d Cheyenne asks the cameras during a confessional.<\/p>\n

Mack tosses her bucket of pee into a bush, just as the fishmonger arrives. The girls\u2013 especially a (piss-covered) Mackenzie and Madame Cate\u2013 start swooning over the \u201ccute Colombian dude.\u201d<\/p>\n

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\u201cExcuse me, sir, but are you interested in hearing about a money-making opportunity you can do from the privacy of your own outhouse?\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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The fish guy starts yammering away in Spanish, as the girls look confused. Jade speaks some Spanish, but the rest have no clue if the guy is talking about dinner or the lingering smell of urine coming from Mackenzie.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, the guys arrive at the market. Cory looks around to see which locals he can corner to talk about\u00a0his \u2018Challenge\u2019 days, while Zach looks creeped out. Khessy feels comfortable, because this market is similar to ones in Jamaica, where he\u2019s from. He even tells the guys about a fruit that helps make their wing-wangers stand at attention.<\/p>\n

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I think that\u2019s nice\u2026<\/p>\n

The girls are told that they will have to gut and scale some fish. Cheyenne looks like she\u2019s about to gut and scale Mackenzie for making her come on this \u201cadventure\u201d when she could be sunning and slurping tequila by the pool.<\/p>\n

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\u201c$20 to anyone willing to help me push Mack into the outhouse so we can run back to the van\u2026\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Mack convinces Catelynn to scale a fish, while Kayla and Jade and the rest of the clan stand back and seemingly try to figure out if they\u2019re contractually obligated to rip a tilapia\u2019s guts out.<\/p>\n

Soon, the whole gang is home and smelling like hillbilly urine, fish scales and sweaty marketplace. They all vow to wash the stank off of them before they start cooking. Chey and Zach meet with\u00a0Coach Michaiah\u00a0<\/strong>to discuss their fight the previous night. Zach says that he wants to have another kid, preferably a girl so he can \u201csee the girl side of me.\u201d<\/p>\n

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\u201cSo that may possibly be the worst reason to have a baby but\u2026go on\u2026\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Cheyenne is not interested in having a third child; however, she says that if Zach \u201cshows up\u201d in different ways, she might let him sperminate her again so that his dream of having the Female Spawn of Zach could become a reality.<\/p>\n

One of those \u201cways\u201d is for Zach to get a job. Like, an actual job\u2026with benefits\u2026that doesn\u2019t involve doing tequila shots with Cory.<\/p>\n

Zach shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He looks to be contemplating telling his wife that he, unfortunately, has no actual skills that would get him an actual job with benefits.<\/p>\n

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This was legit Zach\u2019s ACTUAL face when Chey mentioned him getting a job\u2026<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Chey mentions that Zach occasionally comes down to her family\u2019s business and works, although his energy level varies.<\/p>\n

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#WorkingIsHard\u2026andStuff.<\/p>\n

Michaiah\u2019s like, \u201cUm\u2026so what\u2019s stopping you from getting a job then, Zach?\u201d<\/p>\n

Zach says that\u00a0he\u2019s<\/em>\u00a0stopping it from happening. Zach says he hasn\u2019t found something he\u2019s passionate about doing, so he\u2019s just trying to figure it out. (Apparently he can\u2019t stock shelves at Target or work at Taco Bell while he\u2019s waiting to find that passion? Maybe he\u2019ll find that passion becoming a Taco Bell Team Leader?)<\/p>\n

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Zach, dreaming about mooching off Chey\u2019s family for the rest of his life and doing more crappy \u2018Teen Mom\u2019 shows\u2026<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Cheyenne says Zach gets sad that they have to put everything in her name because his credit isn\u2019t great. (Go figure.)\u00a0 She says that oftentimes, she\u2019s working (surely planning her mother\u2019s uncle\u2019s dog\u2019s Sweet 16 party or something), while also trying to get the kids up and ready, while Zach sits there like an unemployed bump on a log.<\/p>\n

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\u201cUm\u2026I\u2019m waiting for the PASSION to get up, Chey! Duh!\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Coach Michaiah wants to know why the hell Zach isn\u2019t helping Cheyenne if he\u2019s currently sans employment. He says he\u2019s up late, thinking, which makes it hard for him to get up early.<\/p>\n

You guys\u2026I can\u2019t\u2026.<\/p>\n

Michaiah (who is clearly holding her tongue here) advises Cheyenne to be less demanding and ask Zach for help so he can preserve his masculinity.<\/p>\n

SERIOUSLY?!<\/p>\n

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Or, you know, Zach could be a\u00a0man<\/em>\u00a0(or actually just an adult) and get a job and help his wife.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Casa de Unemployed, a drunken Cory is peeing in a plant. (As you do)\u2026<\/p>\n

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\u201cSorry! Mackenzie filled up the bucket!\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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He then regales us with the tale of the last time he was in Cartagena (for\u2026you guessed it!\u2026\u2019The Challenge!\u2019) He says he had to eat the head of a giant water rat for a challenge\u2026 and then we get to see Cory gnaw it and then throw it up.<\/p>\n

I never thought I\u2019d long for the episode with the lingerie party but here we are. This episode is full of pee and vomit and I\u2019m\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0here for it.<\/p>\n

Soon, everyone is eating the family dinner (and talking with their mouths full, for some reason).<\/p>\n

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No chance the experts are coming back to teach a course on basic table manners, right?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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After dinner, everyone is sitting around when Kayla gets a phone call from her mother, who is very upset. Kayla finally gets her to tell her what\u2019s wrong and Kayla\u2019s mom informs her that Ryan is cheating on her.<\/p>\n

DUN! DUN! DUN!<\/p>\n

Ryan sits there with a stupid look on his face and has no idea that Kayla\u2019s mom is telling her that he\u2019s been boinking behind Kayla\u2019s back. She informs Kayla that a girl on a \u2018Teen Mom\u2019 fanpage is\/was dating Ryan at the same time Kayla was seeing (and getting knocked up by) him. Kayla is shocked. She asks Jade to come to the bathroom and take her mic off.<\/p>\n

Kayla tells us that this situation is familiar to her, as her other baby daddy,\u00a0Luke<\/strong>, cheated on her when she was pregnant with their child, too.<\/p>\n

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Jade and Kayla take their mics off and go hide in the bathroom.<\/p>\n

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\u201cYou take your mic off when the good stuff starts happening?! WTF! Now we\u2019re gonna have to run footage of Cory peeing in a plant to fill time. Thanks a lot!\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Ryan strolls over to the bathroom hideout, totally unaware that his inability to keep it in his pants (allegedly) is the cause of this whole scene. Kayla tells him what her mom said, and Ryan insists that this other woman just \u201cwants to be famous.\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh yes. If your legacy is that you were sleeping with a \u2018Teen Mom\u2019 star\u2019s third baby daddy at the same time she was, your life may just be sadder than The Ashley\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Ryan then explains to us that, a few months ago, he was \u201centertaining\u201d another woman.<\/p>\n

I can NOT\u00a0<\/em>with this loser, you guys. Any time a man uses an unusually big word to explain something, you know he\u2019s LYING!<\/p>\n

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\u201c\u2026with my penis.\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Ryan explains that he and Kayla were going through \u201cproblems\u201d so he was \u201centertaining\u201d this girl, who kept reaching out.<\/p>\n

Kayla says Ryan told her he took this broad out to dinner\u2014 but they didn\u2019t have sex. But he did kiss her.<\/p>\n

UMMMM!?<\/p>\n

Kayla says the girl is claiming that she and Ryan have been dating for seven months\u2026which is almost as long as Kayla and Ryan have been dating. Kayla tells Jade that, at the time Ryan was \u201centertaining\u201d this girl at dinner, she and Ryan were kind of split up.<\/p>\n

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Jade\u2019s mind is blown.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust because you\u2019re not getting along, that don\u2019t mean take some bitch out to eat!\u201d she tells Kayla.<\/p>\n

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\u201cOne fight and you\u2019re already taking other broads out to Chili\u2019s and giving them rides on your pickle in the parking lot? Hell naw!\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Jade suspects that what this girl is saying about Ryan \u201centertaining\u201d her is at least partly true.<\/p>\n

Kayla says she\u2019s sad that this whole \u201che cheated on me for months while I\u2019m pregnant with his baby\u201d thing may take away from them improving their relationship, the reason they came on this stupid show.<\/p>\n

UM?!?!? Ya think!?<\/p>\n

Later, the girls confront Ryan to get more information. He swears that he\u2019s no longer \u201centertaining\u201d this female, and that the girl is just mad that she got cut off from his trouser snake now that he\u2019s \u201ccommitted\u201d to Kayla.<\/p>\n

Sure, Jan.<\/p>\n

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He admits that what he did was \u201ctechnically cheating\u201d and Jade looks like she\u2019s about to sink her Lee Press-On Nails into this man\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

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\u201c\u2026but now I\u2019m gonna have to cut a bitch.\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Ryan convinces Kayla to talk to him, so they first chit-chat about the weather\u2026naturally.<\/p>\n

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Kayla asks him if he has had sex with the girl while they were together. Ryan stares off for a moment before uttering, \u201cNo. It\u2019s like, no.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Not since the great Matt Baier has there ever been a worse denial of cheating, I swear\u2026<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

No one is buying Ryan\u2019s statement, not even Kayla.<\/p>\n

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\u201cWe can work through it. Don\u2019t worry about what\u2019s on your phone,\u201d Ryan insists.<\/p>\n

UM!?! The gaslighting is\u00a0real<\/em>\u00a0y\u2019all.<\/p>\n

Jade is trying to listen in to hear what kind of ridiculous lies Ryan is trying to tell Kayla.<\/p>\n

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Even the bartender knows bro is lying!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Kayla says she doesn\u2019t want to go home and find out that Ryan\u2019s continuing to \u201centertain\u201d women, even though she\u2019s having his baby. However, she seems to forgive him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure I can trust him, but I\u2019m choosing to believe that he\u2019s telling the truth,\u201d she tells us.<\/p>\n

Sure, Jan\u2026<\/p>\n

That\u2019s all for this episode!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Howdy, fellow trash TV lovers! It\u2019s time once again to check in with\u00a0MTV\u2018s favorite over-30 breeders and their assorted husbands\/boyfriends\/baby daddies\/guys who impregnanted them minutes into their… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8467,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-entertainment"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbiz.thongtinluat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8466"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbiz.thongtinluat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbiz.thongtinluat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbiz.thongtinluat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbiz.thongtinluat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8466"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/sbiz.thongtinluat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8466\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8468,"href":"https:\/\/sbiz.thongtinluat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8466\/revisions\/8468"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbiz.thongtinluat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8467"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbiz.thongtinluat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8466"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbiz.thongtinluat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8466"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbiz.thongtinluat.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8466"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}